So far on this blog I really haven't told that much about my life. However, that's all about to change by this post. Everyone has issues and mine suddenly reapeared since being back in MN.
First of, I would like to explain my circle of close friends (all of which that will have code names). First there is Liz who is back in Utah. She lived in MN for abt two years when I was thirteen and she was fourteen and during that time we became inseperable. Each summer we would take turns flying out and visiting each other for a couple weeks until now where I go to college ten minutes away from her college. The funny thing is, that was unplanned.
Next, their's Jenny (age 21) who is engaged to a person I strongly despise after meeting him only once. Biased? Probably. We have been friends since are agnsty years also.
Then there's Linton and Dillian. I absolutely love those boys! They are so amazing, fun to be with, pretty much perfect friends, and both on missions for two years for our church at the age of twenty. (They are not paid for it.) I first met them at the age of eleven. I thought they were crazy, but Linton actually was my first kiss/boyfriend at the age of 15. I find that slightly ironic since the LDS youth aren't suppose to date until their 16 which created a slight dillema and creative "hanging-outs". That lasted for about a year and then ended on good terms. We still are really good friends and I was there when he left for his mission with the rest of his family and Liz. A brief tangent: It was the weirdest feeling I may have ever experienced. My friend that I first met at 11 years old was dressed in a suit with a different demener than I have ever encountered from him. It was like a light switch: I watched him flip from a boy to a man. Linton gave me one last hug, started walking away, and then came back again. He hugged me once more, looked me in the eye and said, "I love you" and left. It was so cute! I can't get over it. It wasn't "I wanna marry you" love. It was "thanks for being my friend" love. I have never felt more proud for a friend before.
This is getting longer than previously desired, so I'll be brief for the rest...possibly. Dillian just knows how to have a good time without doing anything stupid. We can go to a playground (and often did) to play some sort of tag and it will be a blast. He can also express his emotions and analyze people the best I have ever seen from a straight male.
His twin, Jeff is also extremely fun to hang out with, but is preoccupied with his girlfriend Diana. I'm pretty sure they will get married eventually, but are waiting to get farther in school.
Matt and Katie (both 21) have been going out now for four years. I can't imagine them seperated, but they have issues being together. I think the real problem at hand is that they can't imagine breaking up since they've been together for so long. A break up would kind of mean that four years was a complete waste of time--or that's what they feel the dilema is.
Jill is a relatively new friend. Funny story: I met her last summer and decided to start inviting her to various things and giving her rides. I introduced her to my friend Jack, who I had a pretty big crush on at the time. Three days later, Jack is completely head over heals for Jill. I'm trying to decided if I'm still bitter. The unfortunate thing is, is that the two are in a psycho couple limbo. She refuses to come out and say that their dating, but he is still persistent after a year. I personally am impressed.
But here is where the true soap opera begins: Ben. As this story progresses, keep in mind that I've been friends with this guy since the age of eleven. While I was dating Linton at the age of 15, I decided that I liked Ben. This caused the first break up. However, Ben did something to make me increadibly angry so I started dating Linton for the second time (and last).
Fast forward to the age of 17, Ben and I started spending more time with each other so we decided to start dating. This went on for a good chunk of time when the love chemical starts running out. The rose glasses were coming off when out of the blue I get a facebook message from his Ex. The guy was cheating on me and she proved it, loud and clear. The funny thing is that when I confronted him, I caught him in so many lies it was ridiculous. The invigorating thing is that despite all his numerous flaws, Ben still had charm. We didn't start dating again, but...we were still friends.
Fast Forward to this past fall. I went to BYU and he happened to move out to Provo to live with his sister and work. We only hung out once and during that time I made the mistake of telling him that I was dating someone. Ben mentioned that he wanted to meet him. AUH!!! I have to go so I'll have to finish this long blog later. Stay tuned
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Working Towards Improvement
I'm back home in Minnesota and I'm finally missing Provo...after two weeks. I made some of the greatest friends I will ever have while at school only after such a short period of time. I can't understand what I ever did without them. It's unbelievable how much good and joy can come in a sudden rush.
And because of going out to school, I can appreciate the simple pleasures of home. For example, I never realized how completely wonderful my shower is. The water pressure, height, and soft water is just heavenly. Not having to share a room or bathroom, having my own car to drive around, not paying rent or for food, having toilet paper AND tissues--I'm living the dream. I never really understood how great that all is. I also made the realization how obnoxious the TV can be! It is such a waste of time, and yet I have to admit that I watch it. It's mildly frustrating. I would say on average my family (that is home right now) probably watches around two or three hours of TV six days a week. That's twelve to eighteen hours a week! It's disgusting to think how much can be accomplished in that time.
I’ve also became a lot more excited about my families fairly substantial collection of books. College has definitely changed my taste in what I read. I became legitimately excited when I came across the Complete Works of William Shakespeare. I’m also now reading “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey. I love it. It’s a new way of thinking about different situations and yet common sense at the same time. It’s blunt and directly applicable to everyday life. I think we (or maybe just I) need to hear more often that the blame usually lies in us. I have all these goals and dreams, but I’m hardly doing anything to make them become a reality.
I also have a tendency to be too quick (to suite me at least) in taking offense or anger. However, the wisdom of Eleanor Roosevelt statement of “nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent” has finally made an impact. I also really like the essay (or is it classified as a book?), “As a Man Thinketh” by James Allen. The wording is beautiful and the mere idea of what the power of thought can accomplish gives cause for hope and change in attitude.
As you might have guessed, I’m taking this summer as a period to improve myself in various areas. What BYU managed to accomplish was point out my NUMEROUS flaws or weaknesses. Therefore, I hope and am trying to better myself mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, economically, socially, and by developing talents. I don’t have to cover each area every day, but I’m going to try to do at least three. It’s the least I can do.
Improving myself economically is turning into a somewhat elusive reality. It’s quite frustrating finding a job in this area and I can’t figure out why. We don’t lack businesses, but nobody seems to want to hire me for just the darn summer. I find this to be somewhat ironic for the following reasons (I promise, I’m not trying to brag. I’m just being blunt):
1) I’m smart--I’m going to college and doing fairly well
2) I know how to work and I work HARD. Starting at the age of ten, Mom expected each of us kids to work two hours each day around the house during summer vacation excluding Sundays. On Saturdays we would only have an hour and we were never paid. I worked at a bookstore and was left by myself numerous times without anybody watching me, not even security cameras. I never even so much as texted. I always worked to improve the store or customer service. I don’t think it’s honest to be paid and not do anything for it.
3) I do everything in my power to be successful. I hate not doing my best; it literally grates on me. I’m considering retaking a class because I got a B in it. I’m pretty sure that I could have gotten a B+ or A- if I tried harder and didn’t procrastinate so much.
4) I would be so grateful for somebody hiring me that I would do everything in my power to please them or pay them back.
5) Education is the third most important thing in my life, only after family and religion. Education is the road that I am taking towards success. That is my unquenchable passion and I will do every single thing I can to get there. I have an extremely high motivation to work and enjoy every second of it.
But hey, what’s the use of worrying? I wonder why everything seems so much more fatal at night.
And because of going out to school, I can appreciate the simple pleasures of home. For example, I never realized how completely wonderful my shower is. The water pressure, height, and soft water is just heavenly. Not having to share a room or bathroom, having my own car to drive around, not paying rent or for food, having toilet paper AND tissues--I'm living the dream. I never really understood how great that all is. I also made the realization how obnoxious the TV can be! It is such a waste of time, and yet I have to admit that I watch it. It's mildly frustrating. I would say on average my family (that is home right now) probably watches around two or three hours of TV six days a week. That's twelve to eighteen hours a week! It's disgusting to think how much can be accomplished in that time.
I’ve also became a lot more excited about my families fairly substantial collection of books. College has definitely changed my taste in what I read. I became legitimately excited when I came across the Complete Works of William Shakespeare. I’m also now reading “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey. I love it. It’s a new way of thinking about different situations and yet common sense at the same time. It’s blunt and directly applicable to everyday life. I think we (or maybe just I) need to hear more often that the blame usually lies in us. I have all these goals and dreams, but I’m hardly doing anything to make them become a reality.
I also have a tendency to be too quick (to suite me at least) in taking offense or anger. However, the wisdom of Eleanor Roosevelt statement of “nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent” has finally made an impact. I also really like the essay (or is it classified as a book?), “As a Man Thinketh” by James Allen. The wording is beautiful and the mere idea of what the power of thought can accomplish gives cause for hope and change in attitude.
As you might have guessed, I’m taking this summer as a period to improve myself in various areas. What BYU managed to accomplish was point out my NUMEROUS flaws or weaknesses. Therefore, I hope and am trying to better myself mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, economically, socially, and by developing talents. I don’t have to cover each area every day, but I’m going to try to do at least three. It’s the least I can do.
Improving myself economically is turning into a somewhat elusive reality. It’s quite frustrating finding a job in this area and I can’t figure out why. We don’t lack businesses, but nobody seems to want to hire me for just the darn summer. I find this to be somewhat ironic for the following reasons (I promise, I’m not trying to brag. I’m just being blunt):
1) I’m smart--I’m going to college and doing fairly well
2) I know how to work and I work HARD. Starting at the age of ten, Mom expected each of us kids to work two hours each day around the house during summer vacation excluding Sundays. On Saturdays we would only have an hour and we were never paid. I worked at a bookstore and was left by myself numerous times without anybody watching me, not even security cameras. I never even so much as texted. I always worked to improve the store or customer service. I don’t think it’s honest to be paid and not do anything for it.
3) I do everything in my power to be successful. I hate not doing my best; it literally grates on me. I’m considering retaking a class because I got a B in it. I’m pretty sure that I could have gotten a B+ or A- if I tried harder and didn’t procrastinate so much.
4) I would be so grateful for somebody hiring me that I would do everything in my power to please them or pay them back.
5) Education is the third most important thing in my life, only after family and religion. Education is the road that I am taking towards success. That is my unquenchable passion and I will do every single thing I can to get there. I have an extremely high motivation to work and enjoy every second of it.
But hey, what’s the use of worrying? I wonder why everything seems so much more fatal at night.
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