Fast forward seven months and Ben moves back to MN right abt the time that I'M going back to MN cause school is done with. Weird? A little. But Ben tries to get in contact with me through e-mail, texting, and various other ways. Don't fall for it.
Fastforward a month later. I'm back in MN and randomly decide to go to Jeff's house. I walk upstairs unannounced, into my friends room where I see him and Ben. I missed my one awesome chance to punch the guy and I don't take it. It was awkward, but I decided not to have a hissy fit since it would create tension in our same group of friends. I leave and screamed in the car the whole way home. The next time we meet up it's like we're very cold acquaintances. We finally have a chance to talk briefly without being overheard and I ask, "So are we being friends again?"
"I dunno."
"Are you going to apologize?"
"For what? It's in the past."
"Cause it was uncalled for."
"You deleted me from facebook."
"You were stalkerish."
"I wanted to see what he looked like."
"I still want an apology."
"It's in the past."
"Do you care abt our friendship?"
"No, not really."
"Ok then." And then I walked away. I was SO proud of myself for not blowing up. I was talking to my brother abt it when the conversation was more fresh in my mind. He pretty much told me, from a guy's point of view how that was the "macho" way of saying let's move on without letting go of pride. Made sense. Doesn't mean I trust him (it's like saying fire wont burn), but I'm not going to create tension for others. Besides, Ben needs all the good influences he can possibly get. Someday, he'll realize he's not going where he wanted to go.
I just feel like the situation is so interesting. I'm a pretty trusting person, but I know when I don't like somebody. The problem is with Ben I can't hold grudges. Why is that? I've held onto other grudges for less. It's something I got to figure out.